Vignette No.25 – Sins of the Rainbow Eaters

Sins of the Rainbow Eaters

We are sinful. We draw in wet cement and eat raw chocolate cake straight from the bowl. With tablespoons. We lie about our ages and take lucky coins from wishing fountains. (Only the lucky ones. We can tell which is which. And the gold coins, too, because if they aren’t lucky now they will be once they’ve bought a jumbo serve of rainbow popcorn each. That’s okay, though; it goes back into the economy.) We sit in the cinema lobby watching movie previews and never pay for tickets to see anything. All the good bits are in the previews anyway. We give other people’s children lemon lollipops and teach them rude words while their parents aren’t looking. We turn up at strangers’ birthday parties like bad fairies from a storybook and steal all the balloons.

I just want to be absolutely clear here. We are bad people. There’s no knowing what we might do next, so pay attention. As one bad person to another – no, actually, as two bad people against one, there are some crimes to which even we would not stoop.

Give back the books.

‘Goblin’? Don’t give me ‘I’m a goblin’. That’s no excuse. Maybe I shoplift bubblegum and pay for bus tickets with glamoured pebbles, but I’m a pixie. We’re compulsive kleptomaniacs anyway when people aren’t sensible enough to buy us off with bowls of cream or a free coffee. I don’t actually destroy anything, though. I don’t rob a library and bring the loot into a stormwater drain when it rains! I mean, how stupid are you? It’s covered with mud.

No, Vix, I am not losing my temper. I just want to make sure he understands.

I’m going to be nice about this, goblin. Give back the books and no one gets hurt. You have until the count of three.



Thr –

© Faith Mudge 2013


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